May I have my moment "the give-in" and more

It has been awhile. Summer came and went similar in a way to last summer; same scenarios with different actors. I must catch myself sometimes--- I give supremacy to others and forget the importance of me. Even at moments that I could be irate, disgusted, or offended, I still extract the guilt out of the situation to believe it is my fault. Why? I think it is easier to blame yourself (the only person you truly have control over) than to be disappointed and bestow the blame on others (even if, rightfully so).

Am I too nice ? A push-over of some sort? Should I nag and blast others with offenses? Yes, that sounds like a plan. It seems that those who do so seem to have a slight edge in the respect category. Hmmmmmm... sounds like a good thought.

Right now, I have like 1000 thoughts going through my head and 1000 more emotions attached to each thought. I know what I want. When I say that, I mean, I know what I want for everything! In a relationship, career,  and life in general. The feat is actually getting all that I want. Luckily, I understand this early and don't let the norm prescribe what I should do. If I did, I would be in a dead relationship with a guy I meet when I was sixteen, at a mid-size CPA firm making an okay salary ( about 68k), and be in the worst mood 24/7. I rather do it my way than the easy way.

Overall, stress for no reason is really messing with.... 5 month until I leave and looking forward to the change ( I pray for a change)

BTW I was hit by a car like a week ago... an update on that after I meet with my lawyer

Peace

Ashley