Thursday, January 15, 2009


I always have trouble when it comes to friends, not that I don't have any friends, but the fact that I might me a tiny bit too nice. Friendships are harder than relationships sometimes, especially when you are friends with those uniquely eccentric or individuals with strong personality . Recently, I have had an interesting experience with an individual that could be deemed a friend. Several events took place that lead up to the downfall of our "friendship." Thus me being a person that wants everyone to like her (which is definitely a flaw) I preceded to engage in e-mail correspondence to try to smooth things out:

In this first part I was try to understand from the other person's stand point what happened during a very confusing event, when I wrote the following:
"I just want to know what happened, but firstly, I would like to state two character flaws of mine...I don't like not knowing something (though good in the realm of academia) and I don't enjoy the burden of malicious discord. Secondly, with that said, I hope you can lend me some type of support in cure to my two character flaws You may say to yourself how can I help. Well here we go... communicate a few details to myself to demystify a few things for me via any medium you may choose, ay... I also realized the metaphoric cake could be a precarious situation...I understand that, so maybe we can chat about that as well "

In response I received:
Hmm, what happened? Let me see, where do I start?You are a liar and a hypocritical son of a bitch, you know exactly what happened butch u set me up. But at the end of it all I'm still me. I am the last person that u want to cross paths with unfavorably, but u fucking did it.Hope it was worth it bitch it caused u our friendship!
Fuck u, fuck off, oh yeah and what goes around always comes back :-)

The following two emails were just me explaining to this individual that I am different, I want to befriend those I interact with as an act of a high order:

I have pure intentions but my rigid way of life may taint the former. I communicate with you until I feel it was fit, that my pure intention would not live on without the soil of mutual understanding. Friendship is not grade based on quantity of year but the quality of the foundation the friendship is built upon. This the corrupt reap the same... The non traditionalism reaps the same. Lines are blurred; "feelings" get mixed . So it is all finally out my system.
I am more concerned with the peacefulness and success of those I have interacted with in my life thus far then being present in their life. So we don't have to ever create any type of social interaction, but it would be best for me that I know that you are, how they say, OK.

I received a text questioning my intentions...why can't a person be actually concerned about her fellow man? Can she, inspite of circumstance, ignore the bad as social nearsightedness, and look toward a friendship of pure understanding. Most people that have the chance to interact with me, don't realize that i am different from anyone they will ever come across in a lifetime. I really try inspite of my sinful, mortal flesh to be the best human possible, so I can be a better friend. Maybe I am doing it wrong.

Peace before all,


Vicki Nicole said...

very very interesting, you sound a lot like me. Interesting. Good read. Any response yet?

Ashley said...

Like three weeks ago, we were making a good effort but now it is kinda up in the air, if we are cool or not