Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A World of Emotions

Today, well the last few days, have been a composite of emotion, uncommon to the likes of myself. I try to stay at a even plane of peacefulness, but there are points were my plane starts fold in on itself, kind of like the space-time continuum when a object reaches the speed of light. Well, I had to move out of my apartment, for the reason of encroachment by my landlord, I am not a person to ask for help, but I did. And as usual, the people I rarely ask for help flake out on me. A sense of loneliness and worthlessness swept upon me like a tornado does to the plains of the Midwest. Why do people help everyone else but me? Am I not a nice person? Am I not good enough to be helped? As I ask myself these questions, I felt myself drifting further away from the human community with every second past, with every increase in my level of anger. I have always felt that the life I live is surreal. Dreamlike, I see and hear everyone else, but no one sees me, no one cares. I have no attachment, no anchor to this world. The anger that swelled inside me was inhuman, but it is just not today, but everyday. I might be struggling on the street with heaviest bags known to man, as I am known to carry several bags, but no one will even venture to ask to see if I need help. If I saw me, or any other person, I would ask. Have I done something wrong in a past life? Have I said the wrong words to my fellow man? Or maybe I don't projected to value to society that satisfies the requirement for being helped. So, I am alone, as usual. I value self, so there is no need to supply any anti-depressant or therapy sessions.

Peace before all,

1 comment:

Lucky Peters said...

I didnt know it was like that. Sometimes you have to speak up! Tell people what you want from them.